| | "Why are you being so dramatic about the swine flu?" A friend asked me the other day when I was oinking at a stranger, in the store, who had coughed entirely too close to me without covering his mouth. "Me?!?" I said, feigning shock that anyone, least of all someone who knew me particularly well, could ever think me dramatic. "Was it the oinking?" I asked. "You're oinking at complete strangers!" She growled. "Only ones who mention it or cough on me," I said, attempting to look contrite and thinking the whole world had lost it's sense of humor. Besides, this particular incident was mild by comparison. Earlier that same day, I was telling people to make sure and pick Colorado and not Vegas (if they survived, of course) because in Vegas The Walking Dude would be hanging people up from lightpoles like Scarecrows. And it wouldn't be pretty. I'd rolled down the windows of the car and played Don't Fear the Reaper at eardrum pounding level on the car stereo at stoplights. But had refrained from oinking at the other drivers who turned and looked at me in acknowledgment that they had also read The Stand, although not perhaps the 452 times I have. Until I managed to scare myself and had to take it off my ipod. That I'd wished, repeatedly, when I heard they were closing down an entire and quite large school district in Texas, that I hadn't had a moment of sanity and stopped stocking up for hurricanes. I wanted to tell her I'm not all that concerned about swine flu. I don't wake up in the middle of the night with a tickle in my throat and imagine the cough that will follow and the sudden inexplicable urge to eat out of a trough and perhaps oink at people. And I know that worry over it is pointless because if worrying cured everything I'd surely be wealthy, wise and married to Jim Cantore. I wanted to say that while I might be a wee bit dramatic, laughing and poking fun while visions of McCarthy's The Road are aimlessly wandering in my head helps me cope. But she didn't want to hear this, not really. So instead, I oinked. |
| | Posted 5/12/2009 4:12 PM - 849 Views - 46 eProps - 26 comments
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