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  • Wishing you a very Neurotic Yet Merry Christmas

    One in which the sheep run away from the shepherds, up and down the aisles of the church, on the pews, rolling around on the floor of the sanctuary with little white pantyhosed bottoms showing as legs kick wildly in t…

  • Random Crapola

    Upon receiving the first book your work appears in, which is not "your book" as your children so lovingly point out to you each time you say it, DO NOT give in to the overwhelming desire to sign said book. RESIST! A…

  • I’ve always desired to humiliate myself. So, I changed my answering machine message.“Up on the housetop, reindeer paws We're not here to take your calls Santa's out shopping, We are too Probably buyin’ a gift for you! Me…

  • You know you are in Redneckville when...Santa is missing teethAnd his beard smells like WhiskeyIf someone forced me to sit on his lap, I would have cried too....

  • What could be worse than being invited to attend the annual town Christmas parade with 4 wild children? What could be worse than not only being asked to attend but to be a part of said parade? Not much to be sure but I…

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